After my ex-boyfriend's brother killed himself, my ex asked me one thing.
"Don't let me take cocaine anymore."
I agreed, but said there was little I could do.
"I know it killed him," he said.
I knew too.
"Just please help me," he said.
And I said I would.
For the next three days, a small crew of us hung out at the house, then he got a phone call and had to go and choose a coffin. My ex said he would call me after. I went to buy food and flowers. He never called. The next day I called him. He answered the phone quiet and slurring.
"Gems?" he said. "I've been up all night."
He had gone to meet Lily and Robbie (Allen and Furze). The first thing they had done was pick up coke and take him out on a bender.
Never had an honest conversation with him since.